Published on February 18th, 2015 | by jackiefetter0
Turmoil, emotion, and chaos…..
Day in, out and days for years to come. We have hit the “change” times in our house. 3 sizes in 6 months, 5 inches in a year- keeping up with this has been ongoing, crazy and expensive. The pants look like floods before I know it, we learned about the false hem so that we could let the pants down in a month. There is also hemming tape that I have become quite adequate at using.
With the size change came the voice change-Soprano to Alto in 3 weeks. So hard especially when he had a job that used his beautiful soprano voice which is gone.. Uncertainty and change for kids at this time. They are awkward and are unsure what each and everyday would hold. I am awkward and unsure as to how to deal with their fragile schema as well..
Then there is the waves of emotion from tears to giggles in 2 seconds. The sense of loss I feel when I am told,” Mom- I don’t know what to do or how to stop acting like this” because irrational emotions have hit. We are spending lots of time discussing the power of the smile.. No matter how you feel it is hard to stay in a bad space when you have a smile on!
There is also the connections we make with each child. Each month my son and I head out to Allegros for a lunch. Only the two of us and it is all him time. He gets to lead the discussion and I try as much as possible to keep my commentary to a minimal and just listen. This has truly made a difference, he will keep topics for this time and comment on how he was waiting for lunch. There is a comfort in the ritual as well for him and he asks at the beginning of the month, what day is our lunch. Oh, and it also helps that the food is awesome!
My daughter and I started a journal that has a no talking about rule. We write in it and leave it on each other’s bed. No topic is off limits and no topic can be discussed verbally. It is a safe place to unload all the confusion and uncertainty. I bought a really great one that has some learning topics as well.
By no means have I got it figured out but we are wading through this swampy water called adolescence and I hope the water gets clearer for them at times….